A Winter Wonderland Read online

  The rain splattered in gusts across the tall windows, obscuring the sand and the water. Not a good night to be driving, even sober. But it was getting harder and harder to imagine a scenario that wouldn’t bring him to his knees before he walked out her door. He was so aware of every move she made, every nervous fidget of her hand, every time she bit her lip. Was she thinking about where this night would go, too?

  Selena set down her fork. “I think we should…”

  She paused. What was coming next? All sorts of endings to that sentence raced through his head.

  I think we should take off our clothes.

  I think we should see if sex between us is as good as it used to be.

  Chapter Nine

  “I think we should do a shot of Wild Turkey.”

  Selena bit back her smile as Jace let out a bark of laughter.

  “That’s not where I thought you were going with that sentence,” he said.

  Selena lifted her eyebrows in challenge. “Is that a yes or a no?”

  She headed for the glassware cabinet before he caught her blush. He was just as perceptive as always. That wasn’t what she had meant to ask. She was about to say they should give that kiss one more try. Knowing full well that it wouldn’t stop at a kiss. Instead she chickened out and opted for reinforcements of the alcoholic variety. Not too much, just enough to keep her mind off the past, to keep her focus on the way it felt to be with Jace right now.

  “A shot of Wild Turkey, and then I want a tour of your house,” he said.

  She nodded and brought over two low tumblers, and Jace twisted off the cap of another little bottle. He poured a finger’s worth of whiskey in each. Raising his glass, he waggled his eyebrows at her. “To holiday pleasures.”

  “Are you coming on to me, Jace?”

  He shrugged, and the corners of his mouth quirked up. “You want me to?”

  Her cheeks flushed as she flashed to the kind of holiday pleasures she could have with Jace. “I still haven’t decided.”

  Jace threw back the whiskey and set the glass onto the island counter. “Your turn.”

  Selena took a sip of hers, and Jace shook his head.

  “Nope. The whole thing. Your idea, by the way.”

  She tipped her head back and let the liquid burn a trail down her throat, swallowing the last bit with a cough. Jace raised his hand for a high-five, his eyes filled with delight, and she slapped it.

  “I’m glad I’m here to witness this.” He took her glass and set it aside. His hand slipped around her waist. “Now let’s take a tour of your house.”

  Her heart thumped hard in her chest, and the whiskey was making her a little giddy. Or maybe it wasn’t the whiskey. Jace’s hand stayed on her hip as they wandered into the living room. It was the same way he’d always used to touch her, just a reminder that he was there. But as they passed her couch, his arm snagged around her waist, and he pulled her down on the plush pillows, onto his lap. She laughed and wriggled, but he held on tight, so Selena relaxed against him. She took a deep breath, catching his warm, outdoor scent, and sighed.

  “I like this couch,” he said, and his deep chuckle sent warm bolts of pleasure through her. He patted the pillows, testing them. “Big enough to sleep on. Or do other things.”

  She smiled and shrugged. He shifted so he was facing her, his dark eyes intense.

  “You never tried?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Nope.”

  “Hmm,” he said softly.

  If she had lived here with Jace, they would have given the couch a try long ago. As well as most of the other furniture. Was he imagining alternate histories for them right now, too? His eyes sparkled with pleasure. She rested a hand on his bicep, and he let out something between a sigh and a groan. God, it felt so good to be close to him again.

  Then his smile faded. He raised a hand to her cheek, the way he had when he kissed her the day before in her doorway, and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her again. But he didn’t. There was plenty of heat in his gaze, but there was something more, too. Creases formed in his brow.

  “You’re not married anymore,” he whispered.

  She shook her head slowly.

  “But you split up not that long ago.”

  It wasn’t a question. What did he want to know? Was he wondering whether she was still hung up on Darren? This wasn’t her favorite topic.

  “You sure you want to talk about it?” she asked.

  Jace chuckled. “Not sure how to answer that. But, yes, I want to know.”

  Behind his laugh, Selena could hear his hesitation. It was hard for him to ask. What could she tell him? That there was a time she thought she loved Darren? That he had admired her drive, at least at first? After the divorce, she had even wondered if she had been attracted to Darren because of just how different he was from Jace. Because she didn’t want to be reminded of him. Because she didn’t want to miss him so badly.

  But now she was sitting on Jace’s lap. His arm was wrapped around her, and his hand slowly stroked up and down her side. It felt so good to lean into his warmth, with the rain softly pelting the glass. Trying to explain any of the whys of her relationship with Darren might hurt Jace, even if her relationship with Darren was long over. The closeness between her and Jace was still fragile.

  Selena looked away, squinting out into the darkness, weighing her words. “I talked to his new girlfriend when I was in Boston a couple days ago. I dropped by to pick up those packages you brought.”

  “Was that hard?” he asked, his voice quiet.

  She nodded. “We fought for years about his traveling, and he said he had no control over it. That it was the nature of his job, that I’d known that from the beginning.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat and continued. “But apparently, it wasn’t. Because he got a new job, no travel, just for Lizzie’s kids. And Darren didn’t even want kids.”

  She looked over at Jace. His eyes were dark, his gaze probing.

  “I’m glad Darren wasn’t there when I stopped by,” she added. “I probably would have said a bunch of things I’d regret.”

  That earned her a hint of a smile. “I bet you would.”

  “Yeah. Probably double my humiliation level.”

  His eyes widened. “Humiliation? Why?”

  She shrugged. “That’s what I felt on that day my car broke down. Definitely. But it’s better now.”

  His arms tightened around her, and she closed her eyes, sinking into the comfort Jace was offering. Comfort for the mistakes of her marriage to the man she’d chosen over Jace. Was he putting aside his own feelings for her?

  Her heart gave a jolt. The Jace she’d known at eighteen wouldn’t have comforted her like this. He couldn’t have. Or maybe her eighteen-year-old self had been too caught up in her own struggles to hear it. But this moment was new, different. They were different. Maybe it was time to clean the slate between them.

  Selena bit her lip. “I made some hard choices, Jace. I thought they were the right ones at the time, and now I can’t change them. I just want to make the best of where I am now.”

  Her comment was about more than just her marriage. It wasn’t an apology for leaving for college—she wasn’t sorry for that—but she could have handled it differently. If spending time with Jace again felt this good, this right, she needed to move beyond the regrets of her past.

  He pulled her closer and kissed her neck, sending rays of heat through her body. The soft lights, Jace’s warm body, and her heart pounding away in her ears all came together in a quiet happiness she hadn’t felt in a long time.

  “I made mistakes, too, Selena. Mistakes I wish I could take back,” he said, his voice husky. “It was wrong of me to pressure you to stay in Sacred Harbor.”

  She stilled in his arms. After all those months of trying to make him see why she needed to leave for college, all those months of accusations and fighting, this was the last thing she thought she�
�d hear from him. She turned to meet his gaze. Longing and regret simmered with the heat in his eyes. And maybe she even saw loneliness.

  “I don’t regret asking you to marry me,” he said, his voice a low rasp. “But I do regret tying it all together, making you choose between me and college. I just couldn’t imagine four years away from you.”

  “I couldn’t imagine it, either,” she whispered. “That’s why I left without saying goodbye. I was afraid I’d change my mind.”

  She had tried so hard not to think about him when she’d left, losing herself in the newness of college, of living in Boston. Blocking out all the hurt, trying so hard to turn off the physical ache of being away from him. Up until recently, she had lived that other life. It had been a good one in many ways, but there were things that she had promised herself would be more satisfying if she just hung on a little longer. Things like love and contentment.

  Nine years had passed, and here she was, lying with Jace’s arms around her, his slow breaths in her ear. Was the happiness running through her just an echo of their past, or could they make it into something new?

  Too much to think about right now.

  He shifted so his long legs stretched across the couch, and she settled between them. His breaths slowed, and she closed her eyes, the way she used to on his parents’ couch. She might have nodded off because, when she opened her eyes, the buzz of the Wild Turkey shot was gone. But she was still surrounded by a wall of warm, hard muscles. It felt good, really good. A scary kind of good.

  “Jace?”

  “Yeah?” His voice, rumbling and full of sleep, sent a new rush of desire through her.

  “If we’re doing this…whatever we’re doing together, we need to be friends, too.”

  “Weren’t we friends back in high school?”

  She laughed. “We certainly didn’t spend our Friday nights the way friends do.”

  He didn’t answer right away, but she was sure he remembered. His mouth brushed over the top of her head, and he pulled her tighter. “You don’t want to do that anymore?”

  “I do.” Lord, did she ever. “Though maybe not in the front seat of your car.”

  He chuckled softly, his chest moving under her. Then he sighed. “I see your point. And not just the one about the car.”

  The past was gone, and it would hurt, digging into it, looking back to the way things were. But now that she’d opened this new door, invited Jace in, laughed with him, slept in his arms again, she wasn’t ready to leave him in the past. They had to look forward. But it was so easy to let her guard down with him, and whatever this was between them felt vulnerable. She felt vulnerable. So Selena took her time, searching for the right words.

  “Falling asleep with you feels good,” she said softly. “Really good. And it’s really tempting to just fall back into this, you and me together. But I think we both know all the reasons we need to be careful, too.”

  She could feel his nod against her.

  “We should spend time just talking,” she continued. “Go to coffee or something.”

  “Coffee?”

  “Friends do that. Not that I have any friends around here as examples, so you’ll have to take my word for it.”

  “Hmm…” He stroked her hair, then slid his hand down her arm. He found her hand and wove his fingers with hers. “Okay, friend. Let’s meet for coffee.”

  Chapter Ten

  Selena walked along the shoulder of the road, sidestepping mounds of melting snow. Late during the night, the rain had turned to beautiful, white flakes, but it wasn’t sticking, making for a slushy mess. She hoped it wasn’t an omen for what was to come because she was already having second thoughts about this plan. Buying coffee for five dollars at a café was the most ridiculous way to spend her money right now, when finances were tight. Plus, she was on deadline, which meant she shouldn’t waste precious morning hours, the hours she was most productive, on a social call. And yet, she was braving the cold to meet Jace at the Harbor Café. Like friends would.

  Maybe friends was a bit of a stretch, since she was dying to do things with him that had nothing to do with friendship. But, luckily, reason had won over hormones the other night. The connection was strong between them, which meant this new-found intimacy could so easily hurt both of them. Maybe the hurt couldn’t be avoided. She was still planning to leave Sacred Harbor after the holidays, of course. But when Jace appeared on her doorstep, wet and bearing gifts, her heart had stuttered in her chest.

  Was Jace the reason why she had dragged her feet this fall instead of putting the house on the market? Just a few days ago, she would have rejected that idea completely. But could she trust her reasoning around him when she had worked so hard to leave him behind? Maybe, somewhere inside, she had stayed because she needed to know if those long-buried feelings were gone for good.

  And now that they’d seen each other, talked, even fallen asleep on her couch together, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. Or maybe this was just the effects of that “magical” fruitcake. In which case it should be wearing off soon, if her knowledge of magic was accurate. That knowledge came entirely from fiction, of course. Selena rolled her eyes. This whole situation was crazy.

  She turned the corner of the last block and headed toward the lake, her wool scarf high on her neck, shielding her from the sharp gusts of wind. The weathered wooden building was right next to a harbor, with a deck overlooking the lake and the shoreline, so the place got a lot of business during the summer. Hopefully, right now it was empty. Hopefully, no one would recognize them. That had been a selling point when she planned this coffee date—that and the fact that Selena hadn’t been outside in two days. She pulled her scarf up further, over her mouth as she neared the water. The temperature here wasn’t so much colder than it was back in Boston, at least not so far this year, but there was a hell of a lot more space between everything, giving the wind a strong advantage. Plus, after nine years away, she had forgotten how to dress for this kind of cold, apparently.

  Selena opened the door to the café, and a rush of warm air blew over her face and found its way under her scarf. Her shoulders unclenched a little as she took a step in. The place was bright and decorated for the holidays with garlands and strings of lights. Small candles were lit on each of the wooden tables, and the whole place smelled like cinnamon rolls. Maybe it was worth a five dollar cup of coffee.

  But then she saw the stares. The place was far from empty, and everyone there was looking at her. No one seemed familiar, at least not at first glance. Maybe this was a bad idea.

  Then she saw Jace, standing in line with his back to her, his unruly hair and broad shoulders still familiar. He had taken off his jacket, showing off how unfairly fit he still was. Did he play sports these days? There were so many things she didn’t know about him anymore.

  Then he turned around, and his face lit up when he saw her. All her worries about this meeting dissolved, and for one moment, she wanted everything she used to have with him, all over again. And she was in so much trouble if that’s how she was thinking. The past was gone.

  “Hello, friend,” he said, his smile full of humor. Then he gave her the kind of kiss that was soooo not in friend territory. His lips opened against hers, lingering, new wave of that same desire that had bombarded her since he kissed her on her doorstep.

  She pulled back a little and looked at him. He wasn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes were warm and welcoming. So familiar.

  “Here we are, having a nice friendly coffee,” he whispered. “No bedrooms involved.”

  Not yet, at least. But, oh, how she wanted to kiss him again...and more. She wasn’t sure how long she could resist, but she owed it to herself to try, at least for a little bit.

  “I just think we should talk a little,” she said, inching away, “and not about the past. Just catch up, be around each other. See if we even still like each other.”

  “I’m pretty sure I still like you,” he said w
ith a smirk.

  “Being attracted to someone is not the same as liking them.”

  He opened his mouth like he was going to argue, but then he shook his head. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  She ordered a coffee, and Jace tried to pay but Selena insisted they each buy their own. Like friends. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. They made their way to the corner table, and Selena kept her head down as they found their seats. The table was small, and their legs tangled together in a very un-friend-like way, but she didn’t pull back. The truth was that she was happy to sit like that with him. It felt like them in the best way possible. She drank her coffee in silence, just watching him, and his gaze was fixed on her, too. With anyone else this kind of staring would be uncomfortable, but with him it didn’t seem to matter.

  But she came here to talk, to slow this down a little, to try to be friends, so she broke the silence. She asked him about the garage, his family, his house, and he asked about her life in Boston, though they both skirted around the topic of Darren. And the more she sat in that quiet corner of the café, together with Jace again, the more the happiness simmered inside.

  After a pause, Jace opened his mouth, hesitated, then spoke. “Do you think your parents knew how serious we were back in high school?”

  “Maybe,” she said. “Maybe they were willing to look the other way as long as I didn’t get pregnant went to college.”

  “They got their wish.”

  “Still, here we are.”

  “Yes, here we are,” he echoed. He looked out the window. “What would they say if they saw us here together? They thought I was a bad influence.”

  “You were,” she said, smiling. “Do I need to mention Friday nights again?”

  Jace laughed. “That’s fair.”

  Selena considered his question. “Honestly, I think they’d be fine. My mom used to give me updates about you when they still lived in Sacred Harbor. I think a part of her wanted us to find a way back to each other.”